I’ve been asked to talk about “Marriage Numerology”

There really is no such thing as a set of marriage numbers or lucky days for weddings – all the days are good days to get married. I’m pretty sure, though, that when people ask for this what they’re getting at is marriage compatibility or relationship compatibility. These types of readings have gotten really popular on the internet over the last ten years. 

Years ago I wrote an article on old blog about this very thing. I no longer have that blog post but it’s time to rewrite this anyway because some of what I do has changed. 

I don’t believe in compatibility readings. 

Period. The end. Here’s why: 

Compatibility readings don’t address the many elephants in the room, which are all those people who – on paper – should not be together because they are astrologically or numerologically “incompatible”. Yet here they are kicking it, thrilled to bits with each other, loving every moment together, building an empire on their block. Then there’s all those failed relationships with such great compatibility and potential, that never made it.

I’ve watched readers within the metaphysical community try to come up with all sorts of alternate scenarios and explanations for why that is and they keep using the same tired metrics for their readings. 

The other problem I see is that compatibility readings treat the individuals involved as though they are one-dimensional monoliths that never change. Relationships are constantly changing because the people in them are changing. They evolve and grow. They’re supposed to. Ask people who have been together for decades and they’ll tell you about periods of time where they didn’t recognize the person they were with. Or the times they couldn’t get enough of that individual. Or the all the other times in between. 

So fuck those readings. They’re going at this the wrong way. 

I do something a little different. I do what are called relationship life paths. They’re not new and I did not invent the concept. What this does is look at the energy within the relationship instead of saying “Well a 6 person and a 9 person are incompatible” it instead says, “This relationship has a combined energy of 15/6. Here’s where the energy is strong, here’s where this energy needs to be supported and here’s how the individuals might respond and react to this energy.”

You do this by adding together the life paths of everyone involved. The nice thing about relationship life paths is that they don’t need to be limited to just two people or to romantic couples. I’ve had clients who were part of couples, throuples, and polyamorous webs. Looking at the life paths of their relationships as opposed to binary yes/no compatibility helped them see their relationships in a new light. Individual life paths can also be looked at, to see how it is that all the individuals concerned interact with the combined relationship energy. It’s a lot more involved than consulting a number grid and saying “Oh well, 5 and 2 are completely incompatible” to someone who may not be having a relationship issue but may be very impressionable. 

I’ve also done these readings for work teams and groups of friends. They work just the same. 

To start, calculate a life path number for everyone. This is done by writing down the full date of birth and adding the individual numbers straight across and writing that number down.

For now, let’s keep it simple and interpret single digit numbers only. So let’s construct two random life paths:

Sarah: September 15, 1995 9+1+5+1+9+9+5=39 3+9=12 1+2=3 Sarah has a 3 life path 

Stephanie: July 27, 1998 7+2+7+1+9+9+8=43 4+3=7 Stephanie has a 7 life path 

Add them together and reduce to a single digit: 

3+7=10 1+0=1

Their relationship life path is 1. 

It can be made more complicated with master numbers and compound numbers, but let’s not do that. Ultimately all the numbers can be reduced to a single digit from 1-9. 

Now here are some basic interpretations. They are VERY, VERY, VERY brief. They do not take anyone’s whole chart and the complexities involved in looking at two or more charts into account, so don’t feel bad if your relationship life path doesn’t read exactly like you think it should. 

1 relationship life path: these people will do best if they keep separate interests, some separate friends, and separate accounts. This is not the merge couple. This relationship life path is much more independent than the others. Problems will most likely occur if they become joined at the hip and find each other underfoot.

2 relationship life path: these people will do best if they merge completely. Mutual friends, shared interests, cooking and cleaning together, playing in the autumn leaves with their many dogs. The danger here is losing oneself and/or becoming codependent. 

3 relationship life path: the social butterflies! This is the couple that entertains and has fun. Everyone knows them, their home is wide open, there’s always room for one more at the table. This couple needs to learn to carve out together time and not use other people or events as buffers that prevent intimacy. 

4 relationship life path: the workhorse couple. They’re solid, stable, and dependable. They work well together and could be happily side by side working from home or running a business. They need to guard against becoming buddies that sleep together. 

5 relationship life path: the couple with the crazy Gemini energy. They’re in Spain! No, they’re in Cambodia! Now they’re studying wine tasting – wait – now they’re learning Swahili….and now they’ve opened a yoga brew pub. Change and adventure will keep this relationship fresh. These people need to incorporate some nights at home to connect physically. 

6 relationship life path: the really great neighbours! They’ve got a beautiful home that’s thoughtfully put together, they’re at every community event, every block party, every local everything. They compete with the 3 couple for best house party and the 4 couple for greenest lawn. There is the potential for deep, lasting love. They need to spend time apart, doing their own eclectic pursuits or community work. 

7 relationship life path: the quirky introvert energy. This relationship life path favours time spent deep diving into spiritual matters. The home of such a couple should be pristine and minimal. If not, clutter can cause issues in this relationship life path. There is an intuitive connection but care must be taken not to let this become 100% a relationship of the mind….unless you both want it that way. 

8 relationship life path: Passion and sexuality can turn into a power play in this relationship. Your intimate relationship can veer off into some dark places. Magnetism is great but communication and boundaries are important. This is also a relationship of financial manifestation. The true “power couple”. 

9 relationship life path: Surrender and let the feelings take you on a journey. You can’t control yourself and you don’t want to. The couple that everyone swears is karmic. You’ll both learn some important lessons in this relationship. Keep at least one separate interest or cause, even if you have to tear yourselves away from each other to do so. 

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