And the challenges are OVER!

Not going to lie, this makes me a wee bit happy that the Tarot challenge is over.

I know that it was my choice to participate, and I did learn a lot about myself and let a lot go. It was a good experience but now I can get back to the business of not giving my cards the nervous side eye.

It’s also the last day of blogging along with Effy. THIS, I will miss.

Tomorrow I will start my social media diet. I fully expect to slip and fall, I do. I feel like I need to gorge on TikTok and get my fill of TheRealIndianDad, SalehFamily, #WitchTok, and #NativeTikTok before I take it off my phone.

I spent the winter working on Tarot reading/blogging. That was Plan A. I’ve earned enough to execute Plan B: next week I get to work on rebooting my crochet website with patterns for sale and online courses. I want to take advantage of Jupiter in Pisces.

And for Tarot tax, here’s my latest and last entry in the HeaingThruTarot April Tarot Challenge:

Choose your own adventure: Storytelling with Tarot

Years ago I started a blog post for this and for whatever reason, just stopped. Knowing me the phone rang and that was that. Another piece of blog mastery never to manifest because I was stuck on the phone insisting I don’t need to worry about my car’s extended warranty because I don’t own a vehicle.

Did you ever read a “Choose Your Own Adventure” story book? They were popular kids books in the 70s and 80s. The idea behind them is that every few pages, a decision is made by the reader based on a list of choices. The reader turns to the page that matches their choice and the story continues. One story book could have dozens of plots, endings, and characters, depending on what the reader chose. I used to devour these books as a child. I loved them so much that I made sure my son had some and I probably read them more than he did.

My “Choose Your Own Adventure” spread is more about just having fun with Tarot and less about solving problems with the cards. The idea is to tell a story using your cards, so a really illustrated deck will make this easier. Of the decks I own, I reach for my Green Witch Tarot to do this spread because the images lend themselves to story telling. It also works well with The Mythic Tarot, Morgan Greer, and the good old RWS.

The one I’m showing here is in the shape of a diamond but really, your spread can be any format you want. I like using the diamond shape, but I’ve also done a hopscotch-shaped story spread, a a question mark-shaped one, and one shaped like a labyrinth. That one took up my living room floor and is the War & Peace of Tarot story spreads.

Yup, those are my toes.

My original diamond started and ended with one card. I changed it so that I would have more choices starting out and ending. If this feels like too many cards, make a diamond that starts one card. The rows would then be 1-3-5-3-1.

There is no official breakdown of this spread. The rows don’t mean anything specific, other than the first row being the beginning and the last row being the end. If you wanted to, you could design a spread according to a specific story formula (for example: introduction, problem/quest, journey, lessons, outcome) and then name the rows accordingly, but it’s not absolutely necessary, unless you need that structure. Remember, this is supposed to be a fun way to loosen up with your cards and learn to tell a story with your deck. It isn’t meant to be a serious reading, although synchronicity being what it is, it’ll probably have some meaning to you.

So let’s get started! Turn over as many cards in each row as you like. I’ll start with one. Let’s see how my story begins:

Queen of Pentacles

This looks like a happy lady. She’s resting on a bench underneath an old walnut tree. It’s got bright green leaves and it’s rather full. There’s a basket of what appears to be walnuts. They’re scattered over the ground. It must be late September/early October then. She’s got a pentacle on her lap, it looks like it might be the cover to that bowl. It looks like she’s spent some time picking walnuts and now she’s going to sit back.

But wait! There’s a bird in the tree. I feel like this bird is a friend. What are they talking about?

5 of Chalices, Ace of Wands, 3 of Chalices.

Rather than go to the traditional Tarot meanings, just describe the cards. There’s a young woman pouring liquid onto the ground. There are spirals carved into the rocks and a small stone wall. I feel like this wall extends around the area she is in. This looks like a sacred place. She’s leaving an offering in the circle formed by the trees, the carved stones, and the wall. There is a blackberry hedge in the foreground. Blackberry wards and protects, and these are ready for harvest so looking at the trees and these berries I’m going to say this is autumn. Everything outside of that magic circle is misty and shrouded in fog. Inside the circle it’s bright and sunny. The wind picking up her cloak and the ends of her hair. The more I look at this picture the more I feel like the wind is picking up in intensity as she pours. The gods have heard her words and events have been set into motion.

A magic wand floats in the air. A bird hovers nearby. There are juicy cherries below the wand and a glorious sunrise in the background. Magick is unfolding.

Three women raise a toast. The bird flies over them. The red-headed woman from the first card is in the centre of the group. The sky is blue and the overall mood feels light, happy, and summerlike.

The lady sitting under the walnut tree is remembering! She and the bird are reminiscing about a time when she and her friends worked as a coven, in their youth. She is the dark haired girl on the left.

(This is only my interpretation of this story. Your telling may be completely different)

3 of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, King of Wands

A young man is standing on an altar. He is in a ring of sacred stones. It feels like it’s later in the day. The sky gives no clues but I get the sense it’s close to the end of the day. An older man in white robes plays a lyre. He is serenading the young man who is literally on a pedestal. While I don’t get the sense that there are a lot of observers to this scene, I do feel like he’s being praised for something he’s achieved.

At the same time I see five young men about the same age as this other fellow. It’s a foggy night and they’re in the heart of the forest working some kind of magic. It doesn’t feel right. The more I look at them, the more I feel they shouldn’t be there and that they’re somehow out of their element. They’re not working in unison, and one of them keeps consulting a magic book. They’re tilting their wands all over the place – no one is directing anything; any energy that they manage to raise will hopefully just dissipate and amount to nothing. There’s a basket with bread and wine but the bottle is corked and the bread is not broken. It looks like they went straight into the magic without making an offering. I don’t get the sense that they really know what they’re doing and the facial expressions I can see range from bored to confused. The young man from the first card is not among them.

The last card shows an old man. He’s in a chair, inside, and there’s a fire going. He looks very cosy and happy. He’s holding the wand we saw in the row below. It’s nighttime and a little ferret is playfully tugging at his robes. It’s a simple scene. His wand is up like he’s using it to add emphasis to a story he’s telling someone that we can’t see. I get the distinct feeling that he is the young man from the beginning of this row.

He’s telling the story of how these young witches helped him.  Let’s continue the story. What happened after they helped him? How was his life? I feel like he and the Queen of Pentacles are together. I can’t wait to find out the rest!

Knight of Wands, 4 of Chalices, The Wheel of the Year, 9 of Chalices, 2 of Pentacles

I felt compelled to turn over every card in this row, so I did. What a story! It’s all coming together now!

These three young witches helped their friend. I feel like they helped him get his foot in the door with whatever job or schooling he was trying for. He outshone the competition (the young men in the 5 of Wands) and while magic will work, more often than not, it won’t actually help a situation that could not have happened anyway. Magic does take the path of least resistance.

At the same time, the red haired witch carried a little torch for this young man. She went off on her own and did some love magic. It worked! She got exactly what she wanted, but she’s not very happy. She’s sitting there at the table with the cups she used in her spell, as he approaches. He’s got the enchanted cup that she gave him, but he’s also got his bag slung over his shoulder. His path in life is taking him away. It’s time for him to become the journeyman – that’s what they were helping him to do. Her magic was all for naught.

The blonde witch played only a small role in this story. She was there for the magic but it appears that she’s got her own path to follow. Maybe she’s going to a college out of state. She looks a little wistful. I suspect she found out what her friend did and ended their friendship. Maybe that’s why she’s leaving? She merits her own story spread, but I’ll do that another day because these spreads can take all afternoon if you’ve got the imagination.

So time passes and the wheel of the year turns. Life goes on and old wounds heal….and here is our raven haired lady – no longer a girl, but a successful working witch and mother to a boy that looks a lot like the old man directly below him.

4 of Wands

Here we are at the very end. I turned over just one card in this row. Right above the wheel of time we see the young man from the row below with his own beloved. He has taken over the family farm and it looks like they had a great harvest. His wife bears a resemblance to the lady in the 4 of Chalices – perhaps that lady moved on, met someone else, and is her mother. There’s another story spread there.

I’m in the mood for a new deck so if anyone knows of a deck that would lend itself well to this type of exercise, tell me, tell me, please. I’d love one that’s illustrated with real world scenes like this, but more modern.

Also, if anyone needs a DM I’m free!

Social Media Diet

So although I’ve never signed up for any of her classes, I’ve always been a lover of Leonie Dawson’s newsletter. Earlier this year she did a 21 day challenge, where she stopped using social media.

She also did another one where she did no internet shopping. I’m not ready to do that yet and it’s not because of the pandemic. I’ve been using InstaCart and Amazon for all of my personal shopping needs outside of shoes and prescriptions for the last three years and I enjoy it. I joke about it but I’m not someone who actually buys a lot of frivolous stuff online. I’m more likely to overspend in person because I’m a tactile individual. If I can touch it and hold it, then it’s probably coming home with me. Online shopping keeps me from overspending, believe it or not.

But social media, yeah. Earlier this month, as part of my Healing Thru Tarot Challenge, one of the daily questions brought up my spread thinness and befrazzlement with social media. Like magic, I found an email from Leonie in my inbox that I had missed, where she talked about all the positive changes to her inner state when she put down social media. So I thought, “Why not?” and resolved to try this as soon as I’m done this challenge.

I’m really enjoying this Tarot challenge. Some of its royally pissed me off but overall I’ve enjoyed it. If Heather does it next year, I’ll sign up again to see what comes frothing up to the surface.

At the same time I’ve also done Blog Along With Effy and met a whole community of art bloggers. I feel like I turned a corner and found a secret micro neighbourhood that I never knew existed, within my larger neighbourhood. I forgot how much I enjoyed blogging and connecting with others this way. It’s on a much smaller scale than social media but infinitely much more fulfilling. Social media fractures my online soul and blogging restores it.

So the boundaries I’m setting for myself are, starting May 1st, no:

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Tiktok
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Some of that, like Facebook and Instagram will be difficult, I believe. I’m not really a content creator on the other platforms, I have accounts to look at others that I follow. I know right now that I’m really going to miss #NativeTikTok. That one little hashtag has been a priceless resource for me in reconnecting to my Mi’kmaq ancestry.

I’m allowing myself:

  • Patreon – I don’t consider it social media although some do. I follow Lisa Clough from Lachri Fine Arts
  • YouTube – I also don’t consider this social media but I guess if you actually interact and become part of the community there, then it is social media. I follow different artists there for their tutorials and I’m thinking of starting my own channel to go with the reboot of my crochet site. This means going to YouTube but it’s never been a rabbit hole for me.
  • Facebook Messenger – This is how my wife and I keep in contact because her work takes her away from home. We video chat every night. It’s also how I keep in weekly contact with my son and other family in Canada.
  • MeWe – I was going to put it on the diet but I only go there once a month already so that’s like getting a trophy for showing up. 

I’m revising my stance on this. Not using Instagram will be HELL.  Ye gods, that’s my rabbit hole of choice! Sometimes I wonder if this will be the right time to do this because I do want to start selling patterns again as a form of passive income this May. I start getting stuck in my head over this. Then I remember that the last time I did this, Facebook was new and most people weren’t on it. None of the other stuff existed and yet somehow I managed to be found without Facebook or even Ravelry. My blog became busy and I made money. 

We’ll see. We’ll see if I can stick to my diet lol.

21 Tarot Questions

Jack Of Wands blogged these questions and I figured why not give them a whirl. 2020 has been a sucky year and he is correct – we need to set our minds toward 2021 and some positivity. The astrology and numerology for next year supports better times ahead, and a less gloomy but still serious year. As I recover from COVID and have fewer moments of fog and exhaustion, I’m looking forward to better times.

  1. What was your first Tarot deck? My first Tarot deck was The Marseille. I highly don’t recommend it as a first deck, unless you possess an understanding of medieval art. At the age of 17 I most certainly did not.
  2. What is the biggest mistake you ever made in a Tarot reading? I can’t think of any one moment. However, a constant theme that used to underpin my readings was that I would not call out things that I saw because they greatly deviated from accepted card meanings. This would happen when I read for other witches or readers. It was a very annoying voice in my head that would say something to the effect of, “You’re way off base and they’ll know it because they do this, too, and maybe they’re better at it.” This never happened with my muggle clients. Not ever. I had no problem calling things out. I’m happy to say that I no longer suffer from this, and the majority of my clients are practitioners of many fields of divination. I now officially love being the reader’s reader.
  3. Who has had the greatest influence on you as a Tarot reader? As far as authors go, Dusty Bunker, Faith Javane, and Gail Fairfield. Linking the Tarot to numerology had a door-opening effect on my intuitive faculties. Gail’s work showed me that there was a psychological aspect to Tarot, and that some really miserable cards could have extremely positive meanings. I’ll also say Crowley for his most excellent deck, MJ Cullinane for her most excellent decks, and Benebell Wen for Holistic Tarot, a book that could only be better if it was leather bound.
  4. Share a spread you love. I love “The Empress Check In”, from Tarot Court Cards, by Leeza Robertson.
  5. How does Tarot intersect with your religious/spiritual beliefs and practices, if at all. Tarot fits into my beliefs as a practical tool to help me laser in on things. I think of Tarot the same way I think of astrology and numerology: it’s not a belief system per se. Whether I “believe” in these systems or not, they are accurate and beneficial to me.
  6. What is the best question you’ve ever been asked in a Tarot reading? Hmmmmm. It was a funny question. I was working at Little Mysteries in Halifax back in the 90s, and this woman said “Why am I such a colossal fuck up?” As far as questions go, I’m pretty sure most Tarot authors would say this is how not to ask a question, but it led to my first ever past life reading and was she ever floored.
  7. What is the worst question you’ve ever been asked in a Tarot reading? My worst ever question happened over and over again this year once I started booking readings again. It was “Should I just kill myself?” or some such variation, like, “Will my family be better off if I die tomorrow?” I closed up shop right when things were starting to clip along because it was literally every other person. I waver in my feelings on this. Sometimes I think about this and I feel so much empathy because the global shutdown has been horrible for a huge segment of society in every country and sometimes I feel very angry, like how fucking dare you try to put that on me? I was nice to everyone and referred them to the appropriate crisis lines. I shuttered my presence and just pressed along at my day job. However, the day job is no more, and I’m sticking my head back out of the hole again.
  8. What deck do you use most often right now? The Halloween Tarot. I’ve had it for years and it’s one of my favourites. It’s so stinking cute!
  9. What card in the Tarot deck is hardest for you to connect with? The Two of Wands. No special reason. It’s just so “meh” for me.
  10. Which card do you use as your significator? Whichever card pops up for that position, but if I had to pick one for right now in my life, I’d choose The Magician.
  11. Share one special technique you love for interpreting the cards. In case you are ever stumped, keep a brief list of keywords in your head for the numbers 1-9. The Aces are the keywords of number one, as modified by their element, and so on for the two’s, three’s, etc. The court are eleven through fourteen and can be reduced, as well as the majors. It’s a quick and dirty way to get your brain thinking.
  12. What’s the most innovative reimagining of a Tarot card you’ve seen? Most decks are Rider clones. They may have breathtaking artwork but nothing new is going on in them. I’m going to come back to this after I’ve given it more thought.
  13. What’s the hardest thing about reading Tarot? I don’t know if it’s ever been hard, but I’d definitely say the sheer volume of information that is available can be overwhelming. I’d definitely suggest that new students choose one author to start with and not buy every book and deck they see. It’s difficult *looks at bookshelf*……very, very difficult.
  14. Why did you decide to start reading Tarot? I started reading Tarot when I was seventeen. I knew nothing about nothing where New Age or witchcraft anything was concerned. I grew up in the days of two channels and rabbit ears on the TV, sheltered on a military base. I felt quite literally pulled into a bookstore in 1989, and I walked out the door twenty dollars poorer, with The Marseilles Tarot. I didn’t know what to do with Tarot, but I felt compelled to learn.
  15. Share three Tarot books you’d recommend. If you can get your hands on them and you’re a beginner, How To Read The Tarot and How To Use Tarot Spreads, by Sylvia Abraham. She was a witch’s witch and quietly taught Tarot until well in old age. She presents an easy to follow system that helps imprint the cards onto your brain and makes the reading flow. Her book on spreads is just plain fun and it’s my most dog-eared falling-apart book. When you’re ready to fill your brain and want something a little more tome-like, I enthusiastically recommend Holistic Tarot, by Benebell Wen.
  16. How are you working to deepen your Tarot practice right now? I’m looking more into the shadows side of the cards… know, because 2020.
  17. Which suit in the Minor Arcana is your favorite, and why? Call me morbid, but I love The Swords. I didn’t until later this year. I had some mighty stabby readings this year. Gail Fairfield’s work was a big help in learning to see the many layers in this suit.
  18. Share one trend you would like to see in Tarot publishing. I’ll be a bitch, lol. I’d love to see publishers move away from the New Agey benign, saccharine, everybody wins style of Tarot book. I tend to prefer older books, from the 70s and beyond because they give the good, the bad, and the ugly. They emphasize practise, they don’t blow sunshine up your ass. There’s also a greater emphasis on ties to astrology, numerology, and occult practices as opposed to Wicca in older books. I cringe when I get readings and the reader carries on about my non-specific “energy” and every card is “things are going to change”.
  19. RWS, TdM, or Thoth—which do you prefer and why? Thoth. Hands down. Crowley was a genius. Batshit crazy, but a genius.
  20. What’s the greatest lesson you’ve learned from Tarot? That the future is not set in stone.
  21. Pull a card to forecast what 2021 is going to be like for you. Hahahahaha. There was a time that this card would have made me cry. After 2020, being an agent of change and contributing to the overthrow of existing structures fills me full of BRING IT ON.

The Empress Check-in

This is a reading done for myself, from Leeza Robertson’s book, “Tarot Court Cards For Beginners”. It views the four queens of the Tarot court as facets of The Empress. It makes an ideal “check in” reading, for those wanting to take a self-assessing look inward. 

The Empress and four queens are removed from the deck. The cards are shuffled however it is that you do this, and one card is laid over each queen. 

My cards are as follows: 

Queen of Swords (Mental Body): 5 of Swords 

Fives are challenges and this five shows shifting mental boundaries and responsibilities. It’s bang on, actually, as I’ve started a new job. I’m learning new services, new products, and a completely different mindset than I’ve ever experienced in a salon before. Things are exciting and change suddenly. There is a warning with this card not to indulge in drama or gossip. I know I’ve just come in on the heels of something juicy at work, and as much as I may be nosy, I don’t ask. It’s better that way. 

In spite of the fact that my skills and knowledge are spot on, I feel like a backwards cousin with two left feet a lot of the time as I get used to everything, so there’s that as well. 

Queen of Cups (Emotional Body): The World 

The World is a great card. It’s all about intense three energy: travel, change, rewards, communication, and success. For those who can stop musterbating about how things must unfold and are ok with letting go of emotional attachments and just trusting the universe, this is a time when opportunities will unfold. For those who tab and collate everything, trusting in the universe will create great amounts of stress and frustration. I’m not that person most of the time, thankfully. 

Queen of Pentacles (Physical Body): 7 of Swords 

Physically, my health needs checking. I just had a physical recently and I’m set for a battery of more tests, so this card is right in line. I’m fine, for anyone who reads this. Stuff that was put on the back burner because of the lockdown is staring me in the face as things open up again. I didn’t run right to the doctor again because I wanted to see what would happen with infection numbers first. So I let the rest of you take my place in line – I’m generous like that. Sevens are inward seeking, unlike the other odd numbers, and the health checks are all just for my own knowledge. 

Queen of Wands (Spiritual Body): Temperance 

Spiritually, this card is about verification and slowing down. The desire to find the truth arises from within. I’ve recently begun mediumship studies, to get a handle on all these spirits that like to hang out in my house. There is joy and alchemy in this card as well. When earthly creation (4) is understood as a manifestation of pure energy (1), the ability to manifest or transmute is limitless. 

Tarot and Suicidal Clients

If that title isn’t a trigger warning then I don’t know what is. 

I like to do a little ramble in my blog posts because “Your frank friend having coffee” is my blogging voice. I’m skipping the pleasantries today. I’ve noticed a trend this year. 

As 2020 progresses and we become hip deep in the post-lockdown economic shitshow that’s taking over many countries, I’m getting more and more reading requests from people who have one question: “Will my family/the world be better off if I kill myself?” 

I want to say it’s been one or two but it’s been a lot more than that. I’ve also had potential clients reach out to me, that are not contemplating suicide that I’m aware of, but they are staring at their last dime. They’re living in their cars, they’re couch surfing, they’re about to become homeless. They’re on their last nerve and feeling desperate. 

First off, let me say quite clearly that I do not read for this question. No numerology, no Tarot, no nothing. This is not Tarot time. This is emergency room time. This is suicide hotline time. This is not a time to explore numbers and cards. There is no Reiki for this, no foofoo crystals, no magical Atlantean cleansing, no essential oils – and anyone who suggests otherwise is playing a dangerous game with the very raw human in front of them. 

I wish I had brilliant wisdom to pass on that would make someone change their mind. I don’t. The only thing I can safely say is that when we’re up to our neck in mental quicksand, the illusion that everyone would be better off without us can be quite enticing and seem very real. I assure you, it is an illusion. Your family would miss you terribly. They would struggle, your children would suffer. Don’t think for one minute that you taking your own life would somehow improve theirs, because it won’t. It never does, that I’ve seen. 

If you are thinking about ending your life, please talk to a counsellor. Talk to a doctor. Go straight to the emergency room. They will take you seriously. 


833-456-4566 (call)

45645 (text) 

The Great Fuckening of 2020: A Reading for the Collective


Reading for the collective. 

I usually share these on Instagram but I had way too much to say! 

This would have been out a lot sooner but I tried to multitask and do this while I was doing my roots and there were…issues….some complications…..nothing that a box of 3N won’t fix! 

Anyone who has followed my readings on Instagram knows that I’m a big fan of the four card mini cross. It’s my belief, after many decades of readings, that more cards = more confusion. If I can’t figure out your hoohaw in four cards, I’ve got issues. Extra cards happen when they fly out of the deck and make themselves known. In this case, the Queen of Pentacles wanted to hang out. Good for her! We like her, she makes damned fine croissants. 

I’ve changed up my positions in the spread, and called this change “The Great Fuckening of 2020”. My research subjects across all my social media platforms all loved their readings, and said they were right on point, so I know I’ve got a winner. 

1&2: 5 of Cups and The Hierophant 45 5 (You in the present moment)

In the present moment a lot of us are wiping away tears and seeing where we fit into this new world. When the challenges of the fives show themselves and bluntly as they do here, it’s important to remember that the number after five is six, and sixes are victories. We can stay crying in our soup (5 of Cups) completely ignoring the fact that not all of our cups are spilled or we can pick up those cups, internalize what just happened, and move forward to victory. Coupled with the 5 of Cups The Hierophant is constructive freedom. We are collectively moving away from old school institutions and ways of thinking. Five is an experiential energy – five loves freedom and expression, and ushering in new things. Contrary to what a lot of Pearl Clutchers think, these institutions aren’t physically going away but they are changing. Where 5’s energy collects, Mercury’s energy is strong. New thoughts, new beliefs, constantly evolving and changing situations – it’s understandable that there are tears. So yes, things are changing. Breathe, smooth out your pants, and move on. 

3: The Hermit 9 (Your lesson from The Great Pause/Global Shutdown) 

The collective lesson was one of Wisdom. Now The Hermit, much like 9, knows a lot of things. It’s not always easy to sort those things out. I always imagine the Faery Queen who lived in the travelling cabaret in True Blood. She had so much wisdom, so much experience, that nothing she said made any sense. Our lesson this year as a collective has been to sort through the stuff we’re learning. Do we believe the chiropractor on YouTube who swears there is a conspiracy to control Americans or do we believe Dr. Fauci? And why is it that the conspiracies are all American-centric? There are other countries. Do we shutdown and mask up? Or is that pointless? It used to be that you had to look for the rabbit hole and now sometimes it feels like we’re in it. And while I’m thinking of it, why is it always chiropractors carrying on about “Big Pharma” and conspiracies? Seriously, the next time you see a doctor who’s got something “Soooo controversial….YouTube will take this down because it’s gonna shake the world….” I can almost guarantee it will be a chiropractor. Just an observation. 

As a temporary vibration, events take place quickly where The Hermit shows up and the facts are constantly changing. You are charged with deciphering it all, eliminating what is useless, and separating emotion from reason. Quite often we do not want to let go of things. We hang on to clothing that doesn’t fit, ornaments that are butt ugly because Aunt Henrietta gave them to us in 1983, we keep people around that we don’t want to know anymore, we stay in dead end jobs….and on, and on. The 9 cycle will take care of that for you. The Hermit shone this little light of his all over what didn’t work. We saw what people were really like during The Great Pause, we saw how crappy our social safety nets were, we saw some of our leaders fall apart and others rise to the occasion and be honest – a lot of the time it wasn’t who you thought it would be, was it? It’s been an eye opening time, this Great Pause. 

The lessons in 9/The Hermit also contain ending or changing jobs and residences. Some of us lost our careers. Some of us work at home now. Some of us became “essential heroes”. All those venerable employment institutions are now under scrutiny. Do we need a 5000 sq ft space to run our business? Do I need to commute? If I can’t teach Zumba to a room full of people, how can I shift? Housing has changed, day care, everything. EVERYTHING. All the shitty instability and crappiness that we publicly upheld but privately wished would just up and die is now CHANGING. We got what we wished for. May we live in interesting times. 

4: 6 of Cups 46/1 (What you can expect for the rest of the year) 

The rest of the year is better. The first half of 2020 was a teary, wine soaked mess because many of us were caught 150% unaware and unprepared. Now we’ve started shifting and while it ain’t over yet, there is a definite feeling of ease now, that wasn’t there even last month. That doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and roses, but we are adjusting. 6s are victories, and when they come directly after 5s as they have here, it means that a sufficient chunk of us have actually learned. The 6 of Cups puts an emotional twist on this. Our environment changes, but it’s a little more secure. We are reaching out and rekindling friendships – nothing like a global crisis to make you wish you’d said yes to more invites and kept up relations. Some of us will find ourselves with a completely new circle of people and that’s fine. If you’re one of those folks, don’t be sad about it: you’ve changed. Everyone around you has changed. And let’s face it, after 5 months of watching people freak out in our Facebook feed day after day, we’ve all cut a few people off. 

Unusual experiences are coming into our lives now. We are more willing to share with others and have a better sense of what makes a “good citizen” or good neighbour. We are more quick to volunteer, to do random acts of kindness (thank you, anonymous Wine Fairies!) and to offer ourselves in service. The 6 of Cups is ruled by the second decan of Scorpio. Sometimes we need sorrow to pass into our lives, to force us to look – really look – at what we believe is important. This rulership also favours scientific discovery and pulling information right out of the void, so we can probably expect our collective knowledge base to increase. 

Popped out to say hello: Queen of Pentacles 66/3

This queen wants us to pay attention to the emotional investment we have in the material world. This is not a New Age admonishment about the evils of money – I see enough of that out there these days. Rather, it is a reminder that a penny saved is a penny earned. This queen likes her comforts and she has a good relationship with wealth. She is practical, determined, and she will get dirt under her fingernails. We should all be using our talents wisely to build what they like to call in the divination books, “tangible results”. That means money. Get a side hustle. Drive for Uber. InstaCart. Write ebooks. Become a Tupperware lady. Something. If you can save and set aside for the future on just the job you have now, great. If you can’t, her highness would like to remind you that she is not above doing something extra part time. 

Sum total of the cards (general theme for the year): 99

Ooh this is exciting. For those wondering how I got that number, there are numbers beside the title of each card in this reading – their numerological value based on their order in the deck. I add them all up, going straight across: 4+5+9+4+6+66 …… we don’t break up master numbers. That’s fabulous. As far as Master Numbers go, 11s are practically lying around on the floor all over the place, but 99s….ooooh….I hardly ever get to see those. 

99 is a collective calling out to all of us. The universe/god/your angels – whatever the hell you need to call it – wants us all to put our best foot forward and ascend to an epic level of wisdom seeking and sharing. It’s time to lead and share what you know. It’s time to practise what you preach. We are all born into this world with traits and gifts. Some of us are great cooks, some of us are mathematicians, some of us are really good at taking out splinters. If you don’t know what you’re good at, get your chart done – numerology, astrology – whatever, get it done. Figure it out. If you’re one of these people who is only good at being cute – find a new skill. You’ve got until Saturn moves back to Aquarius in mid-December to find a way to be useful. 

Pythagorean numerologists see 9s as being all wonderful and light seeking, the great altruists. As a Chaldean numerologist I struggled with that because most 9 people I knew were blunt assholes. In studying the Chaldean interpretation of numbers, this makes more sense. 9 contains within it the energy of fire. Think Mars and Sagittarius when you think of 9s. When I see 99 for the collective, I also see it as a message to stand up and lead. Be counted. This energy cycle is about closing out a shitload of old patterns – 9s are often referred to as “the fulfillment of a cycle” in numerology books. That means endings, folks. They finish shit. 9s are breakups that aren’t getting back together again. 9s are the knowledge you sometimes wish you could unknow because now that you know, you’re responsible. 9 energy is not about hand-wringing; it’s about taking your tears out back, getting them out and out of the way, and coming back to get shit done. 

Now do you see why I don’t need a whole lot of cards? 

If you would like to do your own Great Fuckening reading, here’s the spread: 

21 Days of Abundance (Deepak Chopra)

So I finished the 21 Days of Abundance program. I’ll be honest, I did it at first because my friend was making a group and I wanted to be nice and support her. I’ve always been suspicious of this stuff because I associate New Age activities with things like spiritual bypassing, companies that sell shake mix and essential oils, and suburban white women who name their kids after states and countries. I realize some of you may think that’s funny – someone with a blog like this raising an eyebrow – but most old school witches and conjurers are not New Agers even if the general public doesn’t see a distinction  

But I found that as the days passed that I was looking forward to the posts. I never liked meditation and while I am by no means an expert, after 21 days I am getting better at controlling the chatter in my head. I quite enjoyed Deepak’s lilting voice guiding me through my mantras. 

I used to be one of those folks that seemed to be able to manifest whatever they wanted and somewhere along the way it stopped working. However, after 21 days of daily meditations and exercises, I feel like it’s coming back. While I was working this program, I found a job that I love, I picked up some new clients for readings, and I started some blog posts that are turning into ebooks. 

I also started mediumship training, something that I’m excited about. I’ve been aware of, and in touch with, spirits for as far back as I can remember. In spite of all these years as a working witch, I’ve never bothered to cultivate this skill as much as I could. In all honesty, it’s mostly because not all the dead are sunshine and puppies. Some of them are assholes even across the veil so I’ve always given them a wide berth. I’ve got a collection of cautionary tales from my aunties’ exploits to keep me from diving too deeply into that part of witchery. 

I lost 10lbs!! I don’t know if there’s a correlation between abundance training and weight loss, but I did start eating a lot better while I was doing this. 

Anyway, that’s my experience. If anyone out there actually reads my ramblings and they’ve done this program, leave a comment and tell me how it was for you! 

So my readings have been on the stabby side lately

So my personal readings have been a little stabby lately. Every deck has been giving me swords. For every question. 

Life direction? Swords 

Lockdown/immigration questions? Swords

Takeout or leftovers? Swords

The future of anything? Swords plus Death. 

I even pulled out my cheerful, chipper Hallowe’en Tarot because it’s cute and happy. Swords, Death, Tower. Thanks Hallowe’en Tarot, thanks. Good to know I can count on you. 

*cries quietly in the corner* 

Today, ten minutes ago, I was feeling brave. I pulled out my Crow Tarot, so far the bitchiest of my card collection, and asked, “OK Tarot, why so damned stabby? Where am I and what’s weighing me down?” 

The Ace of Pentacles covered by the 9 of Pentacles. 

Well at least they’re not swords. 

It was a forehead slapping moment. The Ace of Pentacles shows a new beginning, of course. I’m turning over a new leaf in this pandemic world and investing in myself. Abundance training, new blog, putting myself out there, hunting for work. It’s all so fabulous. So where’s the problem? 

The fuckening comes in the 9 of Pentacles. At its best, this card is about independence, the accumulation of wealth, standing on one’s own, being resourceful – all good things. So how can those things be bad? 

Well, it hasn’t escaped me that I’m back in the cycle looking for work. Except now it’s at a time where everyone else is, too. 9s are endings. The 9 has accumulated the knowledge of the cycle it’s in and integrated everything. It’s gone as far as it can go. And there’s the heaviness weighing on me. I’ve already been told I’m “overqualified “.

Gah, Tarot, you bitch!!! Why do you have to be right? 

I don’t have anything else really to say on this because my reading wasn’t solution oriented. I just wanted to know which of the shitty things in life was putting the most weight on me and causing my readings to be so stabbity stabby. 

Because I enjoy pressing the red button, I flipped the deck over to see the card on the bottom. This card usually gives me a pretty good idea of the underlying influences. 

The 9 of Wands. Another 9. Again, more integration of lessons, more being done with shit. There is resilience in the 9 of Wands. There is being ready for whatever shit show comes flying out of left field because when this card makes an appearance you’ve seen it all. 

Have you ever seen the image of the treasure hunter digging and you, the viewer, can see that he’s two or three shovelfuls of dirt away from his treasure, but he’s just about ready to quit? Like, his garden of fucks is completely derelict. He just wants to sit down and be done with it. That’s this card. So on the one hand, I find it heartening to know that I’m *this close* to success, but DAMN I don’t want to do any more digging. I’m so done with everything that’s happened with my wife and I this year. 


I crossed the 9 of Wands. I have been talking to the owner of a very busy spa. I went in for a training session and I’m in! I came home with the Book of Secrets 😁 They do things I don’t do, so there is something new to learn. 


Thursday ramblings, COVID-19 numerology

Mmmm dark roast. 

I’m late to the party because all the other numerologists wrote their COVID-19 posts in March and April. I’ll be honest, even though I’m a numerologist, breaking this down by the numbers was the last thing on my mind. I was preoccupied with mocking the toilet paper hoarders in my midst, while feeling quietly superior about my water powered bum cleaner. 35CDN on Amazon, folks. You’ll never care if you ever have a square to spare again. 

I’m also a very reluctant joiner. I didn’t want to do one, simply because I saw how readers of many systems were being treated online. Let’s face it, when the shit hits the fan, we collectively go looking for people to blame. In times of collective social strife, it’s not unusual for chunks of society to look over at the diviners and soothsayers, and say, “YOU. You made the crops fail. BURN THE WITCH!!!” And I got to see plenty of that on social media as people dogpiled mostly Tarot readers and harmless l’il Wiccans for daring to have the audacity to be themselves “at a time like this”. I’m fairly certain that most of us are no longer riding the adrenal horsie anymore because you can’t keep that boil water-rip sheets energy going for too long. 
So, the numerology of COVID-19. Its very interesting. I have a phonetic table, not a letter table. My breakdown of the word COVID is different: 
Phonetic Chaldean: 20/2 Sudden events causing a major turning point at a global level. Within the 20 we see massive restructuring of industries, job losses and economic hits that are forcing new solutions. Under the influence of a 20/2 vibration, we don’t keep the machine going. We strip it, keep the parts that still work, and try to build something else. Decisive actions are required when 20 is the underlying energy of 2. It isn’t enough to brainstorm and form committees. People get easily agitated and anxious to the point that they may develop mental health problems. The nations that have fared the best so far are the ones whose leaders said, “Right. Here’s the plan” and the plan was executed. Remaining adaptable and keeping control of one’s emotions during a 20/2 vibration are key to getting through it.  
Most numerologists tend to stick to more traditional letter/number associations, so I’ll give my interpretation of those values here:
Standard Chaldean: 21/3 This vibration brings on a whole new world. Not only is the chapter closed on the old world, but so is the book. There’s no going back. Thoughts become things very quickly under a sweeping 21/3 vibration. They can manifest too quickly to be fully understood before they “get out there” and are received by everyone. We see this at play in the rapid growth and acceptance of conspiracy theories, but also in the myriad of “almost cures” that we are bombarded with, daily, in the media. The 21/3 energy pattern, like the 20/2, contains within it a need to keep intense emotions in check and not to give in to panic. Under this number pattern, opportunities can arise that will allow those of us who grab them, to succeed and roll with all the changes. 
Pythagorean: 26/8 “As ye sow, so shall ye reap” is the message of the 26/8 energy pattern. Those who have sown wisely get rewarded, those who sow recklessly – well, let’s just hope they put their masks on. Things come home to roost under this influence. Generally the word karma is seen as a bad omen by those of us in the West, who tend to be really black and white in our understanding of it. I’ll just say that some of the things coming home to roost can be positive as well. Everyone being on CERB in this country certainly highlighted the great disparity in income and there is talk of a universal basic income program. For many Canadians the government stipend was more than they earned prior to the lockdown. Having a forced pause gave rise to some creative and resourceful channeling of ambitious energy. Many of us have carved out new spaces in the business world and are thriving. Of course, yes, many of us are having the shittiest! time! ever! 
They’re all very different interpretations, but they’re not wrong. 
The number 19 is a Karmic number. The Karmic 19 on a grand scale is about the abuse of power and manipulation of those around you. On an individual level, 19/1 relates to being thrust into situations where resourcefulness and wit will be what gets you through the day. Many of us will feel like we’re living on our nerves under the influence of a Karmic 19. This energy pattern is the debt collector and great equalizer – none of us are above it, regardless of how much money we have, where we come from, or whose vagina we were pulled out of. We are all experiencing a collective lesson in the end result of all of our choices. If you think your choices as an individual don’t create a big ripple in the pond, consider the doctor in New Brunswick who went to help in Quebec. New Brunswick was enjoying very low infection rates despite the fact that they share a border with the dumpster fire known as La Belle Province, and a faster provincial reopening than other provinces in my country. When this doctor returned home, he did not isolate. He returned to his hospital and although asymptomatic, infected 150 people. One man making one small choice with very big consequences. 
Mmmmm. More coffee. 
I’m on Day 11 of the Deepak Chopra 21 Days of Abundance. I joked about it the last time I blogged about it. I don’t really know if I can “feel it working” – which is what I’ve been asked. I’ll be honest, meditation is HARD for me. As fast as I can quiet my mind, a dozen thoughts pop up, each with their own marching band and cheerleaders, wanting all of my attention. I screw up the mantras. My cats use my lap as a diving board when I’m trying to connect with The Great Unknowable Buddy Whatshisname. I’m not failing, I’ve had small successes – I’ve had a couple of job ads drop into my lap and I’ve interviewed for them. I’ve lost about 10lbs, although I don’t know if I can connect suddenly wanting to eat better with Deepak and the gang. I did pick up a few bookings for readings without really trying. But there are moments when I’m collaging things or writing paragraphs about the relationship I have with my mother, where I stop and think, “What the hell is this?” I do look forward to my daily meditation attempts, though, and it is working – just in very small ways. 
And that’s all she wrote for today, kids. Be excellent to each other and let shit unfold.